2014 Resolutions

I just turned forty-one yesterday.

I’ve been getting more white hair than I could bother to pull out.

There’s no turning back the clock; this is middle-age, and it’s been a rude awakening in 2013.

It was another year with unexpected detours that often took me away from the things I had planned to focus on. In 2012, it was our move back to the States from China, and in 2013, it was my health problems.

First, a recap of my resolutions for 2013, and how things actually turned out.

1) I’ll continue to work hard and be the best teacher I can be to my students. My workshop is still going strong, selling out consecutively over and over, and I’ll continue to evolve it and make it better with each run of the workshop. I spend a lot of time mentoring my alumni students, and I’ll go on doing that for as long as I can.

It seems like the workshop is the one constant in my life that’s fairly consistent, because regardless of how high or low the numbers are in each run’s enrollment, I have a stable group of alumni students I’m always mentoring, so even when I’m not teaching a run, I’m still involved with my students all the time. This is going to continue in the foreseeable future, even if I stop teaching the workshop one day.

2) I will write like a demon in 2013 and hit higher word-count than any other year in the past. I hope to finish at least one novel in 2013 and start revising/editing it.

I didn’t get nearly as much writing done as I had wanted to in terms of manuscript word count, due to the various unforeseen factors (I’ll get into those later), but I did do a lot of brainstorming for a book series I’ve been planning for a while. For the past fifteen years, I’ve flirted with the idea of continuing Enchanted, the graphic novel series I did back in the 90’s (only four issues were published. You can find images from them in the “Older Works 1988~2001” area of the “Paintings & Drawing” section of my site).

It was an epic dark fantasy that had a few interesting ideas, but ultimately was a product of a young man’s imagination, and not nearly as sophisticated or mature as the kind of ideas I’m more interested in now as a middle-aged man. The reason I started to brainstorm new possibilities for Enchanted was because I started to deconstruct the story with the perspective of someone who’s lived a lot more than my younger self, and realized that if I were to tell the story now, there would be a lot of very interesting ideas I could explore that I wasn’t even aware of at that age–things like sociopolitical upheaval due to the proliferation of real magic, exploration of power and corruption that’s much more gray than black & white, the moral conundrum of end vs. means, the struggle between one’s aspirations and sense of duty, how we reconcile the differences between the roles we want to play in our lives vs. the roles we find ourselves in, and so on. With these new possibilities for exploration, it became obvious to me that I had to do it–a full reimagining of Enchanted. I’m very excited about the idea and I have written extensive notes on what the reincarnation would be like. There are so many changes that technically, I don’t even know if it should be considered a reboot of Enchanted. Maybe more like a spiritual sequel, and it will have a different title as well (not ready to divulge what it is yet). 

One unexpected thing that happened in 2013 was the creation of a writing pact between me and Enric, one of my students who had recently published a short story. When he told me about his short story, it triggered a long string of emails back and forth where we discussed writing, storytelling, publishing, critiqued each other’s work, and so on. We enjoyed our correspondences so much that we decided to turn it into an official pact between us–a weekly writing report where we have to update each other on what we worked on that week and then discuss our thoughts. It’s a friendship that I treasure, and I hope we’ll continue to encourage, support, and critique each other long into the future, and continue the tradition even as seasoned published novelists.

I did manage to make a few very important breakthroughs in 2013 for the novels I’ve been working on, and they are all related to conflict/resolution or thematic problems I had been working on for years without any satisfactory solutions. With those problems solved, I could write without feeling like I was winging it sometimes instead of having a solid road map to rely on. I’m the type of writer who outlines extensively, takes lots of notes, and fully works out the thematic purpose, dramatic structure, character arcs, etc, and I simply can’t continue with a manuscript without having all that stuff worked out. I hope in 2014, the writing process will get smoother because of all the breakthroughs I had in 2013.

3) If I have time available, I will start finishing the stack of unfinished paintings I’ve had on the back burner for years. I’ve devoted all of my time to teaching and writing and music that I haven’t put any time towards my personal artworks for a while, and I hope to change that this year.

I did work on my paintings a little bit in 2013, but it was impossible to focus because my heart was completely in writing instead. I guess I just won’t be able to get back to painting until I’m done with my current writing objectives.

4) I seriously doubt I’ll have time for music in 2013, but in case I do, I’d like to compose more scores for film, TV, and games. I’d also like to write/produce some songs for the K-Pop market (it’s my guilty pleasure). I used to write songs for pop stars in Taiwan, so it’s not that much of a stretch to do the same for another Asian music market.

Yep. Had no time at all to work on music. I suspect I won’t for a while–not until I’m done with the current writing objectives.

5) Now that I turned forty, I really need to keep a regular exercise regiment going, or else I might end up like Patrick Nagel (well, I’ve already out-lived him by two years). I also need to cut down on junk food. I already eat very healthy meals (Elena’s very health-conscious as a cook), don’t drink alcohol, don’t smoke, avoid caffeine, and drink lots of water, but I have a sweet tooth and love fatty junk food, so my snacks are basically cancelling out the good aspects of my lifestyle. I need to substitute the junk food for other types of snacks, or cut back dramatically.

This was one of the major deterring factors in 2013. I had a series of health-related issues all happening in the same year. It started with gallstone attacks, then my old shoulder injury came back full force (I couldn’t even lift that arm up). The tests ordered by my doctor also showed my blood ferritin level was too high, and then later my chronic foot pain came back (caused me to limp for a few days), and so on.

For the gallstones, I opted to not do the elective surgery, because my philosophy is basically this: Once you take it out, you can’t put it back in, and if there are other options, try those first. Also, medical science is moving forward constantly, and maybe a better solution is just around the corner. So until it becomes absolutely necessary, I’ll hold on to my gallbladder. Because of that decision, I have been forced to make a drastic change to my diet, cutting out pretty much all junk food, and not eating anything after dinner. As the result, I’ve lost about 20 lbs. I doubt I could have lost that weight otherwise, so I guess, uh, thanks, gallstones? I’ve only had very minor attacks since, and when they do happen, Elena would juice beets, lemon, and apples, and it takes care of the problem very quickly. As long as I’m careful about what I eat, I’m generally fine (for example, we rarely ever have pizza, and when we do, never more than two slices, and if for dinner no more than one slice. No junk food after 3 pm, and only a tiny bit, and only a couple of times a week at most).

For my shoulder, I had to get cortisone shots and then do physical therapy. I was given a stretching and weight regiment to follow, and slowly my shoulder went back to normal. I’m going to have to keep it up so the shoulder doesn’t go bad again.

For the elevated ferritin levels, I had to get phlebotomy done, except my blood simply won’t flow properly into the blood bag. They tapped multiple veins in both arms and I couldn’t even fill 100 ml, so I had to go back a week later. I did all kinds of prep work such as taking aspirin for three days before the plebotomy, being well-hydrated, and did lots of research online, but it was even worse the second time–they couldn’t even get more than 20 ml out of me. So now I have to wait for my veins to heal before I can try again, and I was told to go to Red Cross and donate blood, because people there take blood all day long and are very experienced at getting blood out of all kinds of people with a variety of tricks up their sleeves.

For my chronic foot pain, I’m going to have to go see a podiatrist in a few weeks from now, so I have no idea what to expect.

While I didn’t exercise as much as I wanted to in 2013, it was still better than any other year previously. It’s mainly the lack of time, since I find myself constantly behind on all thing things I had planned, and psychologically I just couldn’t bring myself to use up that hour on exercise when I had so many things waiting to be done. I know I need to change my attitude because health is the most important thing, and if I don’t make time for exercise, I won’t get any healthier, because I’m already eating very healthy as it is, and the only things left for me to do are to exercise, and to lower my stress level. Out of those two, exercising is the only thing I can really control, as I’m naturally a workaholic and a perfectionist and have been all my life. 

I did finally buy a ping pong table (ahem, “table tennis table”), but I only play against a backing board since I don’t have anyone to play against (Elena doesn’t like any sport at all). It’s great for working up a sweat (I’m no beginner–I play fast and furious), and I usually either listen to podcasts while playing, or crank up the music.

6) I need to find new ways to help Elena improve her English. At this rate, she’s going to end up one of those people who lives in the States for years but can’t even hold a normal conversation in English. That would be unacceptable, because it complicates our lives when I have to translate everything for her all the time, and she basically turns into a mute when we’re out, unable to talk to anyone she comes across in daily life. She chose to move back to the States, and she has to adapt and integrate into this society fully, or forever be an outsider. It’s been an uphill battle for her, and I need to get her over this steep hill.

Elena’s made great strides in 2013. She’s been a lot more disciplined in her English learning sessions, despite choosing to learn on her at home instead of going to an adult school (which she finds too slow and ineffective). Having new audio and video lessons to learn from really made a difference in her level of enthusiasm and dedication. I’m now no longer worried about her progress and just leave it to her to go at her own pace.

I know I won’t have time to do all of these things in 2013, so if I had to narrow it down to the most essential things, they would be my teaching, my writing, my health, and helping Elena with her English. Let’s see how I fare a year from now.

I was right that I didn’t have time to do nearly as much as I had wanted to, and I hope there will be far fewer distractions in 2014. Another big distraction in 2013 that took up a lot of my time was the traumatic switch from iOS to Android (from iPhone 4 to Galaxy Note 3). I had to do so much research, testing of many apps, troubleshooting lots of hardware problems, testing the camera, and it took far more time than I could have predicted. I’m writing a comprehensive review/tips & tricks/apps recommendation for Android/Note 3 right now, and I hope it will help those who are or will be going through the same painful transition. There were other tech-gadgets that I researched, acquired, and tested in 2013 (bluetooth speakers and headphones, gaming mice, standing desk workstation, etc) and I’ll be writing reviews for them as well in 2014.

There was one form of distraction that was very welcomed and highly enjoyable, and that was the exciting and fruitful summer Elena and I had for the Kitty Cat Diary. She put on a lot of very cute and enticing clothes, and I took thousand of photos while grinning from ear-to-ear. We know time is running out, since she’s forty-two already and it’s extremely hard for women to maintain a youthful look after age forty. She’s very fortunate that she’s aged quite well thus far, but the signs are starting to show and will only become more obvious. We just don’t think the Kitty Cat Diary would be as fun with an obviously middle-aged woman. The mood just wouldn’t be right, and we’re not particularly interested in shooting stuff that’s more “appropriate for our age.” It’s likely we’re reaching the end and it probably won’t be long until we officially announce the end of a long run. I’ve been saying this for years, and each year that we continue, we feel like we’ve somehow snuck past the gatekeepers of age, but next year they’ll surely catch us and sternly tell us to start acting our age. Are we in denial and want to hold on to a youthful outlook for as long as possible? Maybe. But time waits for no one and we’ll have to accept what’s coming, and it’s likely going to be sooner than later.

Now, time for 2014’s resolutions.

This year, it’s going to be a short list, because I really want to just focus on only the most important things and not think too much about anything else.

1) Try to write as much as possible. I’m not going to set goals like “finish a novel this year” anymore, because as long as I’m writing and feeling fulfilled, that’s all that matters. The truth is, most books you see in the bookstore don’t sell and the authors can’t even make a living with their writing and must hold down day jobs. Even if I have books out on the shelves, it really means very little in terms how my life would change (other than getting the stories out there to an audience), so it’s much more important that I continue to write for the love of it, and the rest will come naturally. Ideally, 1,000 words a day would be just perfect, but that’s unlikely, since I tend to write very slow and methodical, editing as I write, instead of typing up a storm while in a rapture of inspiration (though it does happen once a while). So for 2014, my motto is simply, “just write.”

I do think I’ll have a smoother writing experience in 2014 though, due to having worked out a lot of the difficult thematic, plot, and character issues in 2013 for the books I’m working on.

2) Keep healthy. I’m already doing very well in terms of a healthy diet, and am currently within the range of a healthy weight for my height (5’9, 168 lbs.). Now I just need to be more consistent in my exercising. Ideally, I’d like to do one hour of exercise everyday (elliptical machine or ping pong, but knowing myself, it’d be an accomplishment just to achieve every other day, and I’d be fine with that too.

I’m hoping I won’t have more than a couple of minor gallstone attacks in 2014, and my shoulder stays in good shape, while my ferritin level drops down to normal after a successful phlebotomy (if Red Cross fails to get enough blood out of me, I’d have to try something else), and my chronic foot problem will be successfully diagnosed and treated.

3) Cut down on stress. I need to take it easy, or else I’ll go through life constantly feeling like I’m running out of time and falling behind in my goals. I’ve been feeling this way ever since puberty, and it’s the curse of being a workaholic and perfectionist. I have to try to take life as is and enjoy myself no matter what is happening, even when things aren’t going my way. Life is full of unexpected detours and distractions, and if I get stressed out every time something keeps me from my goals, it would be no surprise if one day the stress kills me. Everything that happens in life can be a lesson and becomes part of the life experience, so I need to embrace it all instead of only the things I care about the most, while treating everything else as annoying distractions.

4) Keep being the best teacher I can be and continue to mentor my students, helping them become the artists they aspire to be.

And there we have it.

2014, let’s get the show on the road.